Kai Last Ritual

Back in August I went along to the funeral of Kai, the author of the Medusa story on the Gatehouse website. I'd known him from a while back, a regular at the thursday night 'talking stick' at an East Oixford watering hole. Turns out i also knew his mother, although I couldn't ever remember them mentioning each other. Kai's mood fluctuated quite a lot - sometimes he was good company, full of interesting insights, other times he was withdrawn or if he did talk it didn't make a lot of sense to me. One time I think i told him to his face I thought he was talking crap and was just paranoid. He knew I worked in publishing, so when he asked me to read one of his stories I did, although i wasn't expecting too much. I made the deal I always make, which is if the story doesn't grab me in the first paragraph i probably wouldn;t plough through it to the bitter end. It turned out to be quite a good story, judge for yourself.

Not too long after that he let me put the story on the gatehouse website. But Kai was in one of his down phases, lonely and depressed, one night on Port Meadow he took his own life. Well a cliche I know, but it did seem a bit of a waste. From the prospect of an outsider his life was getting better and he had lots of friends, loads of whom turned up for the Buddhist ceremony at the 'crem'. But what does any of us know about what its like to be someone like Kai? At the funeral service I was very struck by the Eulogy, written by his father but delivered by a family friend. Perhaps you gentle reader, will spare a moment for a lost soul.



Kai was a monkey,
Born in Kathmandu
In the year of the monkey.
He was playful and mischievous.

Kai was a Scorpio,
Born also under that sign.
He was an intensely
Sensual and creative being.

Kai was an athlete.
He could move with fluidity and grace.
He surfed the waves fearlessly.
He was a champion 100-meter sprinter.
He strove for perfection in motion
Through practice of the martial arts.

Kai was a musician.
He had a deep passion and love for music.
His fingertips flew over
Dazzling guitar rifts,
And he strummed soulfully
His own sweet melodies.

Kai was an actor.
He loved drama.
He wrote fantastic film scripts.
His life was full of drama.

Kai was a conversationalist.
He loved to talk to anyone
About anything.

Kai was a student.
He was a seeker of knowledge
And loved learning.
His unique intelligence
Impressed his teachers
And all who met him.

Kai was a philosopher.
He swam freely and deeply
In the ocean of Samsara
In order to understand
His own true nature.
He coined a new paradigm-
The philosophy of tenderness.

Kai was a dreamer.
With his vivid imagination
He explored and wrote about
Profound alternative realities.

Kai was a warrior.
He fought his demons
With valour.

Kai was a friend.
He loved the company of others.
He was a lovely young man-
Kind, sincere, sweet and sensitive.
He befriended,
And was befriended by,
Many people.

Kai was our brother, son, nephew, grandson.
He shared his many gifts
With his family
In his courageous quest
To find meaning
And to live life fully.

Kai was a teacher.
He taught us so much,
Most of all what it is
To love someone, and the
Importance of being compassionate
And understanding.

Kai was many wonderful things
To all of us.
Which is why
He will always live on
In our hearts